Dough-coo-saw-teah!

In the hospital there is one medication that is given out like free samples at the grocery store: Docusate. Also known as Colace, this med is a stool softener.

Why would a patient need a stool softener?

All that lying around in bed, plus the pain medications we give, really stop people up.

Plus, who really wants to take a crap in one of those plastic bed pan thingies?

The result is constipation. Sometimes severe constipation.

For a blow-by-blow of how bad constipation really is, check out my previous post The Enema is your Enemy.

A month ago a was getting yet another Docusate out for my constipated patient. Another student in out program, Eric*, was getting out the same stuff.

"After we graduate, we should open a Sushi restaurant," he mused.

"Oh really, Eric?"

"Yes. The name of the chophouse should be Docusate, but it would be pronounced Dough-coo-saw-teah! Sounds Japanese, right?"

He said Dough-coo-saw-teah with the low, rumbling voice of a Sumo Wrestler, enunciating each syllable. The effect was hilarious.

"So, will we specialize in getting our patrons bowels moving again?" I bantered

He snickered while priming his IV.

Eric continued, "You know how they always bid farewell with a unanimous 'Arigatou!' when you leave sushi joints? Well, we could send everyone off with a heartfelt Dough-coo-saw-teah!"

*Eric- Name changed