Mrs. England and the Beastlies

This week I took care of an elderly woman who has been through quite alot in the past month: a stroke in the beginning of April, a heart bypass and aortic valve replacement in the middle of the month, and finally the placement of a pacemaker in the end of the month. Despite these assaults on her body, she is recovering quite well, and I am convinced that it is due to her firey English temper and determination.

On Thursday I angered to the point that she broke out into, "well I will BOPP you on the HEAD if you EVER TRY TO PULL THAT AGAIN!" What was my insult that triggerd her wrath? Well, she had about 15 pills to take that morning, and 7 of them were Potassium. Anyone who has ever had to take oral potassium suppliments knows that they are large pills that upset the stomach.

Mrs. England particularly detested these pills and called them Beastlies. She took about 20 minutes to take each pill- first wet the mouth with water, begin telling me a story, place the pill in the mouth, take a bite of pudding, swallow, tell more of the story, eat a cracker, and finish the story. She insisted that if she took the pills quicker they would "get all mixed up and [her] body wouldn't know where to send them."

Well, I was setting out the "Beastlies" one at a time for Mrs. England, and she would get into her story, thinking that she had already taken the pill that was in front of her, when in fact she had forgotten to take the pill, and had only taken a bite of pudding. She looked down at the table and thought that I had tricked her by slipping another pill in it's place!

Then she broke out into her very animated exclamation: "well I will BOPP you on the HEAD if you EVER TRY TO PULL THAT AGAIN!" I tried to explain that I had not slipped her another pill, but that she haddn't taken it in the first place, but the was too angry to believe me. She eyed me suspiciously for the next hour as she took the rest of the Beastlies.

2 Hours later, the aid brought me a curious suprise: a crumpled kleenex from Mrs. England's room with a Beastily Potassium pill tucked carefully inside. Even under my constant watch, the clever old broad had palmed her pill.